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Words in a New Yorker article

Bill Keller — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 15:47:48 +0000

A few words I learned (can I say the words were learned, if they’ll likely soon be forgotten?) or liked in The Birthday Party:

rapacious: excessively greedy and grasping; “a rapacious divorcee on the prowl”; “ravening creditors”.
heedless: characterized by careless unconcern.
acquisitive: eager to acquire and possess things especially material possessions or ideas; “an acquisitive mind”.
antithetical: sharply contrasted in character or purpose; “practices entirely antithetical to her professed beliefs”.
nadir: The lowest point.

Parricide

Bill Keller — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 04:56:29 +0000

There’s actually a word to describe the act of killing your parents: Parricide.

the act of murdering one’s father, mother, or other close relative
the act of murdering a person (such as the ruler of one’s country) who stands in a relationship resembling that of a father
a person who commits such an act

Adam, on Roger Clemens

Bill Keller — Tue, 08 May 2007 01:09:42 +0000

The fact that roger Clemens has announced his return to the Yankees further cements his reputation as one of the most selfish, disingenuous, phony players of all time. After the 2003 season, after Clemens’ teary farewell tour, he swore up and down that he was not going to return, that he wanted to end his legacy as a New York Yankee, a team he claimed to have always wanted to play for. (Despite the fact that in 1997 roger could have easily played for the Yankees but took the slightly higher offer from Toronto) six months after the 2003 season however, rogers story changed when Houston gave him 14 million, plus the privilege to stay at his nearby home during non-starts, not travel with the team on road trips, only flying in on his pitching day, then leaving. Plus Houston, as a gesture of good will, drafted rogers son, Cody to play in Houston’s minor league system. All the while Clemens claiming “family time”, proximity to home, more time off as his reasons for pitching in Houston. And he also stated again (as with the Yankees), the history of Houston with stars such as Nolan Ryan and Mike Scott have always made playing in Houston a dream come true. Roger has now retired after each of the last 4 seasons and has delivered the same tired cliches each time: ‘I want to spend more time with my family, i dont need the money, the fire is gone. I want to retire in my home-state of Texas’, blah, blah, blah. But roger, like ducks in the spring, returns. But only after his offer has grown to about 18 million.

18 million to pitch from June to September. Roughly 1 million per start. But remember, roger has stated a dozen times (just off the top of my head) that its not about the money. This statement in the sports world guarantees one thing: Its exactly about the money, thats all its about. A player of clemens calibur making this comment guarantees one thing: That the contract offer will go up. And go up significantly. Heres an example of that happening. After retiring again after the 2004 season, roger said (as other athletes have said before him. most notably Michael Jordan) that he would play for free if it was just a matter of playing ball. When the cash strapped Houston Astros made an offer of a meager $7 million; primarily b/c Houston was trying desperately to sign Carlos Beltran (whom they offered 100 million to at that time). Roger made his annual remarks, calling press conference after press conference denying that he was going to play again, then saying he was on the fence, then saying he wanted to play again if the ‘circumstances were right’. Those “circumstances” turned out to be 18 million dollars, more than double Houston’s original offer. Thankfully for Met fans Houston gave clemens that amount. Had he not signed for the 18 million, Houston could have tacked that money onto Beltrans contract and he could be playing for Houston right now. But remember roger saying ‘ill play for free’? of course, no one took it literally, but couldnt he have signed for just a few million? Allowing Houston to spend money on other free agents. Giving them a better chance to win. Plus have all these little perks that Houston allows him to have,. Like playing ball with his son during spring training and pitching only once every fifth day for FUN. Of course he could have, of course he could have done all of these things. But he didnt do any of these things. Because hes greedy. Hes manipulative. Hes phony bologna. He held up Houston management like a bank robber. Knowing that they couldnt afford Beltran and himself, yet bullying owner Drayton McClain into anteing up more cash for himself. the greedy pig that he is.

Clemens is a despicable human being who should be ashamed of himself. How much money does this guy actually need? How many millions can he actually spend? And how are Yankee fans going to react? Like blind mules being led to acidic water, the Yankee fans will drink him up and cheer this phony scumbag because what else are they going to do. They’ll welcome him back as if he didn’t burn them after 3 previous retirements. As if he wasn’t a former Red Sox. As if he cared about Yankee tradition. As if he cared about winning. As if it wasn’t the few million more the Yankees offered him than the Astros that brought him back to New York. As if he actually cared about the fans, the city and the glory of pitching for New York. He proved the opposite is true back in 1997, then again in 2003 and again in 2004 and yet again in 2005. Yankee fans will once again feel spurned after he retires again this off season, only to re-unretire to Boston or Houston next year. Or for the team that gives him the most money. Thats all this guy has ever cared about. Just look at his track record, which speaks volumes and this man may be a Hall of Famer but he has no dignity, no self-respect, no remorse and no conscience.

1-888-5-opt-out

Bill — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 17:03:29 +0000

Call 1-888-5-opt-out to opt out of all “firm” credit card offers in the mail for five years. It’s a legit, automated system, and I wonder if the junk offers will actually stop.

Gams – A woman’s legs

Bill — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 03:10:01 +0000

A couple of my favorites from Slang of the 1920′s:

All Wet – describes an erroneous idea or individual, as in, “he’s all wet.”
Baloney – nonsense!
Dame – a female
Dead soldier – an empty beer bottle
Dolled up – dressed up
Glad rags – “going out on the town” clothes
Hayburner – (1) a gas guzzling car (2) a horse one loses money on
Hit on all sixes – to perform 100 per cent; as “hitting on all six cyclinders”
Wet Blanket – a solemn person, a killjoy

Developing Tacos

Bill — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 16:01:55 +0000

It was a fifth or sixth grade science teacher who taught me the importance of labeling containers. I had brought in some kind of science liquid in a small mouthwash bottle, with no mention of the containers updated contents. As I presented him my mouthwash, his eyes grew wide at the excitement of the lesson teaching opportunity I had unexpectedly presented. He snatched the bottle and extended his arm high in the air to expose my idiocy.

“What’s wrong with this?” he asked, followed by the answer to his own question, “There’s No Label, of course!”. I get it, had I left that bottle of “mouthwash” somewhere, the results could have been interesting.

Last night I was making taco meat. While I do know the few ingredients required to transform regular ground beef into a mexican meat heaven, I do not do this often. I spiced up the meat, put it in a shell, added the standard taco condiments and ate my taco. It was hot as hell. I’ve had hot tacos and enjoy spicy foods, but this taco was on some new level. I retraced my steps with Susan, who was dumfounded by my inabilities.

It must be too much hot sauce. But no, this was a deeper heat than hot sauce… I used the Chili Powder that’s in the glass container with the purple lid. Chilli powder isn’t that spicy, you can get away with using tons of that.

“Wait, you said the glass container with the purple lid?”
“yes, the chilli powder”
“That’s cayenne pepper, not chili powder”. Mexican meat heaven it was not, colossal waste of perfectly good beef, it was.

I even smelled that spice before I spread it liberally throughout. The chili powder was in a different unlabeled container and I learned, is a much darker red.

I was pretty excited, this real world scenario had web design lesson all over it! It immediately became clear how easy it is for someone unfamiliar with there surroundings to make a mistake with disasterous results. It had snuck up in the taco meat completely unexpected. Here you’ve gone and spent all this time making something idiot proof and some noob comes along and throws cayenne pepper up in there. The difference is, in real life, I’ll make tacos again. On the web, I would have never given it a second chance.

etnies World Cup Shoes

Bill — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 14:53:31 +0000

The US may suck at football, but I have no problem with wearing my Dublin, World Cup series shoes. I’m not even sure if the red & green ones are Italy or Ireland.

Tivo & World Cup

Bill — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 14:50:32 +0000

From Tivo:

Attention World Cup Soccer fans (there are only 500 million of you): If you want to record just the games, and not all the post-game specials on football hooligans, etc., here’s the tackle to take for managing your TiVo recordings: Create a keyword or title WishList search for “WORLD CUP SOCCER,” choosing Sports as the category and Sports Event as the sub-category.

Pretty obvious, minus the Sports Event as sub-category. Narrow down the list of games even more by adding a country name in the title. I hear this is the year for the US?

Also – It’s been linked to everywhere, the (US) World Cup TV schedule comes in handy.

Quidam

Bill — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 15:10:13 +0000

We went and saw Cirque du Soleil, Quidam last night in Long Beach. I wonder if this is the only group of people who have devoted their lives to perfecting these particular talents. The guy whose life calling is spinning around inside a giant metal wheel, is he the only one? Are their other spinners in the wings in case this guy messes up, or would he be replaced by some less interesting talent should he pull a hammy?

Anyone who makes these strange, and I’m assuming rare, talents their top priority in life has got to be a fairly eccentric, slightly bizarre human being. It really makes you wonder what it’s like behind the curtains. Are the balancing statue people married? They should be. You can tell they have the trust thing down when she balances vertically, upside down atop his shoulders. They share the same presumably top interest as well, balancing atop other people. The Cirque du Soleil site reveals that they in fact, do not have the same last name. They must just be dating, or more likely, she kept her maiden name for the stage.

My skill, it turns out, is finding free event parking due to lots that are unequipped to handle credit cards. Parking like this tends to unknowingly funnel you in with no option to exit before you realize you don’t have any cash. It happened at a World Baseball classic game in Anaheim, and then last night in the Queen Mary parking lot. Just tell the attendent, “I’m sorry but I have no cash, where can I exit?” and they let you right in. In the future I plan on being unprepared for such unexpected cash expenses. If I actually had the money I’d never be able to lie convincingly, Instead I’d just shell out the $10 and fume at the high cost of parking. Knowing that you spent at least $10 less than anyone else in that Cirque du Soleil tent is second to none.

As we left for the night, we passed the trailer area, where all the talent spends most of their time, hoping to catch a glimpse of someone off the stage. You could see the empty cafeteria trailer and just wonder what it’s like when all these people gather to eat meals. It’s bound to be just as fascinating as bodies spinning from hoops in the air. It so leaves you wanting more. Does one talent think they’re better than the other? Are those diablo girls kids, or just really tiny asians? There’s got to be a documentary on this already. Go see this spectacle of talents you’ve never thought, and can’t believe, actually exist.

Sony’s anus

Bill — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 16:07:50 +0000